A caregiver birthday
Figuring out how to celebrate in this new world
Good morning everybody. I am sitting in our car as Dave gets his haircut. He has a very specific need for a hairstylist and so we drive up to a neighboring town to get his haircut every three weeks.
Today is also my birthday. 🎉 😀 Dave does not remember this, but that is OK. Sometimes it’s OK for me to let him know about these things but most of the time it makes him sad because he realizes he didn’t remember and didn’t get me a gift.
Each time that this topic comes up, I let him know that his company is my present. That cheers him up. 🥰
He really enjoys running errands, so after the haircut, we will go to the grocery store and after that will get something to eat at a local restaurant. It’s a treat for me not to have to make all the meals, so this is my birthday present to me, too.
We don’t go out to restaurants very often because it’s overwhelming for Dave and he feels self-conscious about trying to use utensils such as knives and forks. I’m always looking for menu options that are easy for him to eat.
Sounds are also really bothersome to him (he is deaf in one ear) so another criteria is to find places that are quiet. This is surprisingly a difficult criteria, as many restaurants seem to think that a bustling, noisy environment is more exciting.
Most of the time we eat at home. And when I am too tired from work, we order from DoorDash. Delivery services still continue to be my most powerful resource for help.
I’m looking forward to today and this weekend as I’ll be not cooking as much. Yes, that is my birthday present to me. 🤣 Later in the week, I’ll get to see my sister and her family for Thanksgiving. Good food, good company - what more could I ask for?
Tanya, I am amazed that you keep an "every three weeks" schedule for your husband's hair cuts. I take Mr. J for a haircut and a shave when I think of it. . . which is rarely less than four weeks apart and often closer to five or six. . . Sending love and light and wishing you peace and joy in the upcoming year.
Happy Birthday, Tanya. I get it, there's no point in telling him he missed your birthday, he'll feel bad, and then forget again. But giving yourself the gift of not cooking, or not this or not that, that matters. We're not only allowed to give ourselves gifts, we need to. Take a long bath, ask someone to stay with him if that's needed. Pay for a dog walker. Or send the laundry out. Little things add up and we don't off load all the time, but sometimes...like on birthdays and days that are just plain overwhelming, it's nice to be able to use DoorDash or TaskRabbit or phone a friend and say, hey, would you mind...🩵🎂